Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Arrogant Worms

i think i'm obsessed with this canadian comedy band. been staking out their website and reading all about them (they have 10 successful albums already! and they blog too!). their lyrics are brilliantly simple and funny, and their songs just make you wanna sing out loud in chorus. haha.

I am cow, hear me moo
I weigh twice as much as you
And I look good on the barbecue
Yogurt, curd, cream cheese and butter’s
Made from liquid from my udders
I am cow, I am cow, hear me moo (moo)

I am cow, eating grass
Methane gas comes out my ass
And out my muzzle when I belch
Oh, the ozone layer is thinner
From the outcome of my dinner
I am cow, I am cow, I’ve got gas

I am cow, here I stand
Far and wide upon this land
And I am living everywhere
From b.c. to newfoundland
You can squeeze my teats by hand
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow!


- I am cow!!!

those who want a sample of their songs feel free to icq me. you won't regret this! and i've added their links to my page too.

okie enough about them.

i've got an ens presentation on friday and i'm already getting the jitters. the funny thing about me is that contrary to what most of you think (if you people even bother anyway), i actually suck at making presentations, especially when school work's related. yup, it's true. i deliver just about the worst presentations anyone can think of. even william hung's better. my palms would start to moist, my mind plummets into a blank abyss, and my mouth clams up like an oyster. why? erm...um...ah...erm...uh...dunno. still trying to figure that one out. some might have heard of those saleman-rumours still circulating hall that i've actually sold ice cubes to eskimos before, BUT throw me in front of a classroom with a prof looking on and i'll show you an award-winning performance of sam the clam and his amazing closing act!

how bad am i? well the last presentation i ever made in ntu was back in my 2nd year for a comm skills assignment (i got a shitty c for that). it was a nightmare. 5 minutes never felt that long before. i was looking so nervously at my handnotes so often that my tutor had to prompt me to look at the class when i spoke. boo hoo. while i pointed at the tranparency, my hand was trembling so bad no one could tell what i was really pointing at, and it didn't help that the projector magnified my trembling by a bajillion times on the screen. boo hoo. so much for confidence. i think that class of mpe students never looked at me the same way again. so much for my 5 minutes of fame. at least i didn't pee in my pants.

i've managed to siam/avoid every other presentation opportunity eversince (maybe the rumours about me spread real fast), till this semester for my ens module, where everyone's gotta do a presentation at least once. least i'm only doing it once. argh. engineering students shouldn't be made to make presentations. i can't explain why, but they shouldn't. presentations should be restricted to business students, cs students, william hung wannabes and household plants. people like us have got alot more important things to think and take care of than to speak to a crowded room of idiots who're just glad they're not that idiot speaking up in front. okie. i'm in denial. argh.

c'mon, we're all really lousy at something right?

meanwhile i've just finished meeting with my beloved presentation groupmates who have chucked me the honour of delivering the conclusion to our whole project despite my vehement protests -

me:what?!you want ME to end it on an inspiring note?! i can't.
them:wah lao your engrand so powderful
me:really i can't. you don't know me. i know i can't.
them:*together* dun bruff lah, so powderful still want to siam right...
me:no no! i really really can't do this
them:wah lao eh we prepare the slides for u lor, dun humji lah sure okie wan
me:....
them:steady pom pee pee lah
me:....
them:cmon lah ho say lah, we all count on you leh
me:....
me:fine i give up, friday cock up don't blame me
them:wun wan lah, you shurly zhai wan, shurly
me:....

and so friday is d-day. haiz.

okie its time to get back to work.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Work Hard Day

okie today i shall officially begin attempting to work hard. i hope i dunt fail. haha.

the weekend's been pretty fine for me.

saturday's chelsea-wolves game was a roller-coaster though. went to buy 5 and 6 goals for the game prior to the match. then caught it with jinde at some chic cafe at east coast. first half ends 1-1, i think to myself 3 more goals might not come that easy for chelski. second half wolves take a surprising lead, 1-2. i get hopeful that chelski's gonna turn it on. they do, lampard equalises quite quickly and suddenly there's hope that winning big might be a reality. then enter jimmy floyd. scores a screamer a few minutes after coming on. i turn into a screamer. "money!" i was screaming like an idiot. but i think the majority of the crowd there were chelski fans so it seemed okie. my main man jimmy plops in a second. good god i'm hysterical now, a $5 bet yields a $50 return. i scream somemore. life is good for these few minutes of your life when shite like this happens. now i'm scared. no more goals please! tak boleh! wolves hold on really tight and the final minutes almost made me pee in my pants. then stoopid jimmy scores a fluke (its should've been offside!) in the bloody 93rd-minute, possibly with the last kick of the game. argh!!!! my world crumbles. i scold jimmy. i scold his mother. i scold his mother's mother. and then some. argh. i pull a long face and whine and howl. final score: 5-2 to chelski. dog shite.

had a really good chat with ma n pa yesterday night. they sent me back to hall (really nice of them after ma noticed what a sick puppy i was), but on the way we went to extension for supper/dinner. talked to pa about how he achieved what he had achieved today. his nutshell of a story lasted the whole trip to extension. but was an interesting and inspirational story nonetheless. then i reflected to both of them about my fears that i have no direction in my life at this moment. i dunno what i wanna do, and i dunno where to start and how to start. i 'm graduating in 2 months and not knowing what i wanted to work towards in the short term made me feel a tad useless. i knew what i wanted in the long term, but the journey there i really had no clue of...

anyway he offered some really good soothing advice. he offered options in terms of direction. and best of all he offered hope. and lots of it at that. i mean sure i read inspirational self-help books or listened to motivational speeches and blah, but honestly if you'd ask me, there's really nothing more inspirational than to hear them all from someone you're really close to and you look up so admirably to. by the time we were done with our talk, the kopitiam was starting to close liaoz. well so i hope i won't forget what he says, and try to get my degree first as an immediate concern.

thanks ma and pa.

celebrated steven's birthday last night during half-time of the man u-arsenal match. joe's right. i've never seen any poor sod sing a birthday song to himself before. poor steven. i dunno how he allows himself to be degraded so much. then again maybe that's why we all love him to bits. happy birthday dude.

okie okie time to get down to work liaoz. else people are gonna start nagging about how lazy i am.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

Nuahster II

this is the third day in a row that i've not done any work for my fyp/ens/malay/any academic liaoz. terrible. better start by erm...monday?

anyway nuahed the whole of today away. spent most of it sleeping, dunno why i've been so tired lately. might be falling sick. legs ache like hell from yesterday's run. went back home only in the evening.

attempted to explain soccer's offside rule to val.

gave up on my first attempt. i dunno what's wrong with girls and football. it's been lidat all my life when i try to explain it to the clueless gender. girls in general can't understand the offside rule no matter how hard guys try to explain. i've seen grown men sweat over not being able to get through to their female counterparts over that silly rule. its the same as girls not understanding what's so entertaining about 23 men running themselves silly all around a field chasing one silly ball.

trying to explain the rule is like explaining to kids where they came from, there's the initial erms and umms (as you try to think of an easy way to get out of it) then you make one feeble attempt without getting too complicated, they look lost, and then you give up and quickly change the topic(wow! that car/girl/dress/fish looks damn chio hor?!) hoping they stop asking why lidat, but then why lidat #2 and followed by why lidat #3. tough.

then again maybe i'm just lousy at explaining stuff.

well to the clueless who REALLY wanna know the offside rule, click here. .

Knees Hurt Like Crap

just back from a super duper long jog with fitness-freak lincoln. it's a miracle i survived. we ran 179+199, took about half and hour. fitness-freak says its quite fast. it's a miracle i survived. now my knees hurt like crap. fitness-freak says its cos i don't wear sneakers with shock absorbers. it's a miracle i survived. my aquasocs have soles that're too thin so the impact of my every step ends up in my knees. darn. the only other surprising thing is that we actually talked non-stop throughout our jog. though i think fitness-freak talked more...haha. fun jog nonetheless.

Friday, March 26, 2004

Seabiscuit

just watched the movie which i downloaded from joe. heart-warming and inspirational film based of the true story of an undersized depression-era racehorse whose victories lifted not only the spirits of the three-man team behind it but also those of the nation as well. very entertaining.

okie. motivated to continue with work liao.

Nuahster

still no mood to do any work today. i woke early to go to school to meet my ens project mates. had wanted to stay in school to plough through my endless fyp/ens presentation but i think i lost the mood after i had duck porridge for lunch in can a. had this bloody strong urge to come back and nuah.

back in my room now with no mood to do anything. probably will just nuah around for the rest of today, tend to my fish tank or something, then i might find some mugging inspiration somewhere along the way.

went for a therapeutic swim with joe last night and no, we didn't get caught. swim was very good, i think we spent more time rubbishing about lotsa things under the sky than swim. somehow the water was really warm and yet i found myself shivering alot. weird. i swam 10 laps of the breath i think. was hardly a workout, but still better than nothing.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Now MY Legs Are Wet

lim choon seng just came to talk to me just now. talked about building a gym in what is now the meeting room. bloody hell he tied his dog sam outside my room and sam was lying all over my slippers and i had no idea. knn, so after mr longwinded-winded-winded left and towed that bitch away i walked out and the moment i put on my slippers i knew something was wrong. i don't htink it was pee since there wasn't a puddle, but it was still wet nonetheless... so i had to go wash my legs. and thats why my legs are wet.

village bicycle

does anyone know what a village bicycle is? haha.

anyway we just had a huge feast at extension. myself mark leon lincoln guoxin and zix. 2 whole chickens, 1 vegetable dish, 1 egg dish, 3 char kway teows and 2 bowls of rice each. one bloody huge feast alright.

nuahed the whole of today. no work done. did my laundry and vacuumed my floor. packed up my messy room.

last night's mambo trip wasn't very specacular. alot of dirnks (abit too much perhaps). alot of people were damn bloody high, chun, steven, hongwei, xiuwen...haiz jialatz. anyway its really probably the last trip till after the exams lah, really need to lay off partying for awhile liaoz. gives me alot of headache and heartache.

must get down to doing work tommorrow.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Total Recall

just came down to the com lab to cool down. the fluids mechanics lab is getting hotter and hotter especially when they have to off the fans to accomodate the wind tunnel projects. shoot. feeling quite bubbly this sunny afternoon. and looking forward to mambo tonight! according to john this is our last cheong session #4 liaoz. hopefully we'll stick to it being our last, else no one's gonna be able to study for the coming exams. mark john and joe have already begun studying liaoz, so envious, done with their fyps while us poor mpe folk are still slogging over it, right thomas?

woke up with a slight headache from last night's drinking session. think we all (besides the sipper) drank abit too much last night. hope it wouldn't affect those of us who're partying tonight. anyway just to elaborate more about the things that happened last night...

we met around 6+ to take a bus together to extension for mark's celebratory dinner. went to the BEST kopitiam, the one nearest to 7-11, the zhi cha there to eat. at least we had alot of cock to talk about while deciding what to order from the menus.

speaking of menus, me the hamsum idiot went to approach this really young nubile thing (i swear she looked like a m'sian ah lian working there) and asked "auntie ah, you mei you cai dan?" (auntie, do you have menus?) then wah lao she suddenly looked like she freaked out or something, and gave me a funny squealed up face before backing off and signalling that, erm she was also waiting for her dabao zhi cha food to be ready. shite. should've called her xiaojie instead. wah sibeh embarassing. ironically i was laughing like an idiot after i realised my mistake and decided to call this super-old ah mmm (whom CONFIRM works there this time) xiaojie. i think that totally made her day man. "you! you! zhe bian (moves to take menus), bu yong ke qi hor!" was her super-prompt enthu reply.

the rest of the dinner went by quite okie. chun joined us around 7, just as we started eating. i was trying to stall for time to wait for her but everyone was hungry, so bopianz. still, we were nice enough to order more vegetables since she likes veggies. so dun say dun have.

then we decided to buy beer, and the rest of what happened can be read in john's and joe's blogs. joe's blog about our lost-boy thomas is particularly insightful as to how lost in his doodling world that boy can be. lying on the floor, legs innocently waving about in the air and face in full concentration (you can almost see abit of tongue sticking out like a smart kid knowing what he's doing) while he took his time to doodle a stooopid sotong on mark's card like a kid in a drawing competition...

wah lao not say i wanna say lah but mark also damn bloody insensitive lor. whole bloody world in guoxin's room whispering and giggling in a little corner, he should have sensed we were trying to do something for his birthday lor. but nooo, mr kaypoh must barge into the room and peek around and even when joe and chun were trying to distract him away by leaving the room he still must find out what's going on...

and thats how mr kaypoh saw the lost boy draw his sotong.

sing birthday song next. no big deal, quickly got over with it. gave him his pressie which we didn't know what it was (chun bought it). so we asked him to open it. it was a shirt and a dumb lamb, mark are you gonna hug THAT to sleep every night? least the shirt looked presentably nice.

then we cut cake next. mark the royal majesty gets waited on while john struggles with the cake (must be a first time for him), mark takes his slice (the first piece) and stealthily fades off into my room (i noticed he had tried his pressie shirt on, so now he looks like a punk) to watch tv. everyone else gasps. everyone else sighs. everyone else proceeds to eat cake outside my room. everyone else cleans up cakey mess.

so it was beer guzzling time! nothing much lah. we played cai quan and 007 to get ourselves to drink. as you can see from everyone else's blogs, mark the cheat/sipper took like 3 hours to finish one can of beer. i think his beer was already beginning to grow mouldy. zix joined in the fun. zix the poor sod is new to 007 level 3 onwards where you play the normal game but cannot speak in chinese or english. i thought cannot speak chinese was already bad enough for him.

well that was our eventful night last night. hope mark the cheating sipper enjoyed himself. sure beer sucks, but you're supposed to drink ANYTHING and EVERYTHING people give you on your birthday (does not apply to my birthday though)!!!

time to get back to my fyp. haiz so slow. realised ens presentation is next friday. phew! got more time to prepare. gotta start speaking in malay liaoz. next wednesday is malay oral. malay people are ALWAYS into oral shit. dumb cikgu sibeh enthu. probably expect us to do the drama mamma rubbish he's always trying to advocate. dog shite.

happy birthday markie boy

today's mark's birthday. we celebrated for him by taking him out to extension for dinner and then buying beer back to drink ourselves silly. even bought him a nice little pressie and card. there were chun joe john tsen yeow guoxin mark and myself eating. drinking included zix. was quite a joyous affair, hopefully mark enjoyed it as much as the rest of us. kudos to lichun for initiating all this even though she didn't join in our drinking session. between us we downed 18 cans of beer. wow.

happy day. can't think of much to blog. happy anyway.

Monday, March 22, 2004

lazy blogger

hmm i think i've turned into a lazy blogger liaoz. haven't been blogging as much as i've wanted. each time something blog worthy happens i'd be already thinking of how to phrase it in my blog but once i'm in front of the computer terminal, i just get into rather-read-other-people's-blgos mode, and end up not blogging in my own. else maybe i just have a rotten memory and can't remember things enough to write about.

so anyway yesterday was a pretty eventful day which i really wanted to blog about. had the blog craving once in the afternoon, then in the evening and even twice at night. but hten no blogs. how lazy of me. i think yesterday was a very thinking-reactive day like alot of things that i did or happened about me was thoughtworthy and therefore, blogworthy. i can't really remember those thoughts liaoz so i figure i'll just recap all that's happened and maybe some thoughts might trickle back...

i forgot what time i woke, but i do remember it was when my brother came into the room after having to stay back in camp for some extra guard-duty caused by the 3-stooges-in-tekong incident. now the problem with two brothers who hardly come home (one in camp the other in hostel) sharing a room is that there's only one bed available at all times. should the both of us spend the night at home together, one's gotta sleep on a makeshift mattress on the floor (its always me anyway). so the night before i actually had the rare luxury of sleeping on the super-single bed (not like its bad to take the floor mind you). the moment i saw him pulling the makeshift mattress into the room (it's kept in my sister's room), i knew he was a tired wreck, so i nuahed a little while more before offering the luxurious bed, bolster comforter drooled-on pillow all to him. what a nice brother i am. and that was how i woke up.

i went through my normal sunday routine reading the papers for at least an hour before thinking about breakfast/lunch. there wasn't any yesterday so i jioed val to siglap to eat. this time we ate at the kopitiam beside siglap centre with the nice nice mee pok ampang yong tau foo and wanton mee (i didn't think it was good). sundays are really relaxing when you can slowly read the newpaper and slowly eat your mee and drink your whatever at a nice little kopitiam in the east. really haven't thought of any better way to spend a sunday morning...afterthat she had the car, so we drove to changi beach for awhile (though i'm not sure why liaoz) and went to enjoy the sea breeze there. but it wasn't too long after we reached that it started to rain, so we went back.

by the time val sent me home i was already late in my meeting to play soccer with jinde and his friends. jinde was late as usual, and it didn't help that he didn't bring his handphone along. i ended up joining another group of guys for soccer. now i have to say that its a really really wrong idea to attempt to play soccer in running shoes with a sprained ankle. i kinda found that out the hard way (as usual i thought the dumb ankle could hold out), suffering just after my first few kicks of the ball. for the rest of the game i ended up playing goalie, which still ended up hurting my ankle further. now there's a funny line of blue-black just above my sole. sheesh. anyway jinde finally came and he went to play with his friends but the rain cleared the whole field so me and him met up again. he had a friend, jeffrey who wanted to join us for dinner, and what a friend he was!

first he brought us to his club, singapore swimming club, to wash up. i've never been in there before even though it's been opposite dunman high since we moved into the new premises. but all i can say is that bathing there is a complete luxury. all that you need and don't need they also have. cosy, elegant and well equipped, i think my attempts to gush about how shiok it was to have a shower there would just diminish how great it actually felt there. hmm. must go back there to shower again given the opportunity.

after what felt like a super long time in the toilet (1.5hrs?) jeffrey drove us to blk 85 ba chor mee to eat. its a great and cheap place to eat when your super hungry, no money yet want good food. the other equal alternative according to them would supposedly by chomp chomp in serangoon? or was it sembawang? which me the suah koo has never ever been to. (will someone please bring me there someday?). we had ba chor mee, carrot cake, chicken wings and sugarcane juice, all for less than $10. shiok!

then my main man jeff even sent jinde (changi prison) and i (siglap) home! wow. if you're reading this, thanks a million jeff!

so anyway i went home to realise that bn (barisan nasional - m'sia's ruling coalition) has practically swept the elections, taking back terrenganu and almost winning kelantan. while pas suffered remarkable losses. go liberals!

later on my mom said she was tired so i didn't ask her to send me back to school. i took a bus to cityhall and then the train back to school instead. along what seemd like a really quick journey, i occupied myself with 'what if i had a million dollars' thoughts. very fun. at jp i bumped into seryang and we took the ride back together.

i hadn't even gotten to my room in the hall when i bumped into leon and beth in guoxin's room ALREADY discussing wednesday-go-to-zouk plans! haiz. really cheonging too much man. okie that might as well be my last last last cheonging session before the exams lah. haiz. hope i stick to that.

weixiong bought a new car. with what he earned from the surveys that he got omc and fap to do i suppose. if not exactly a very good one and there're countless jokes made about it, but its still something to call his own nonetheless. and he's fixed it up nicely with a good sound system (a must-have in MY car if i ever do own one) to boot! so he jioed me to go out with the rest of the 42 peeps for supper at boon lay market last night. not often he does that so i accepted his invitation to ride in his mobile. reminds me of the scrabble mobile i must say. feels really similar. boon lay market still hasn't moved back to its original premises. so damn long liaoz. still in that makeshift dump. boon lay nasi lemak ALWAYS tastes good.

so that was my really eventful sunday. think it sound a tad long winded. shall stop liaoz.

today i continued with my fyp. so xianz. ens presentation this coming friday too. darn. looks like the slogging will continue for the rest of this week.


Saturday, March 20, 2004

Keep Feeling Cheated

today i had dinner alone at kfc siglap.

i can't help it, i really can't. each time i eat here i get the feeling that i should've burnt my cash and starved instead. why do i still go back? dunno. these people are really slowly but surely transforming into the marry brown of malaysia (remember johor and mark's half-hour one piece chicken meal??). it's crap. everything but their chicken sucks. how they are still remaining competitive in our local economy? mat support. no kidding. more than half their patrons are mats and their entire counter crew and kitchen staff (maybe except for the outlet manager) are mats.

how in the world do they do it? the brown plastic trays are so unclean that there's still mashed potato leftover on them, the ketchup packets have ketchup on them, the coleslaw'a overfilled that its spilling out of the container, potato wedges are cold (and there're only 3 pathetic slices) and the tables are dirty with leftovers. the service is slow and meals are so darn expensive ( bloody shite if it weren't for my craving for fried chicken...). i have no idea how they can find it in their hearts to charge $8.65 for a meal with 3 pieces of chicken. how in the world did they acheive the A grade classification by the environment ministry under such poor conditions?!! dun ask me. but if you did i'd tell you its the mats' fault. dunno how they afford to eat there though. hmm, no wonder marry brown's doing better than kfc in malaysia...

speaking of our northern neighbour the elections drama is really intriguing. polling's tommorrow and quite a few of my relatives will be voting in the state of selangor. probably voting bn. chinese there almost always vote bn.

the 3 idiotic fugitives in tekong have all been caught. good job saf! already it wasn't a very smart thing to land on the most armed island aside from our mainland, first thing they'd have thought of if they didn't wanna die or get charged under the firearms act was to ditch the weapons. but no, the third guy still carried a pistol. which he didn't use since he was huddling and shivering from hunger and the cold anyway...twit. zhiqi (she's not singaporean) thought it was quite kuazhang to be deploying 400 saf personnel and 300 police officers to the 20sq km island, but i guess you wouldn't understand till you've seen the swampy middle and eastern regions of tekong where the recce troopers and commandoes have trained before. no shit.

oh and president of taiwan chen shui bian won the elections to stay on a second term against all odds. won by barely 2% margin i think. shows that people do sympathise when you get shot - even if it might be your own party member (that's the conspiracy theory i'm siding with). opposition candidate lien chan declares elections void. haha. sore loser. so drama.

End Of The Week

its a really lazy saturday. think i'll give fyp a miss today and continue tommorrow evening. my pc crashed just as i finished this blog. so i had to retype everything. dog shite.

had a beer-drinking session outside xiuwen's room followed by lichun's room last night. weiming's come back to hall from ia so he just wanted a gathering. wasn't exactly way fun but still alright nonetheless. think i drink too much.

mark look alot better since last night. i hope whatever we've done has helped. it sure hasn't been easy for him nor us. but i'm glad we're pulling through. he even went for a jog with evarn and adrian last night. and he's handed in his fyp (envy* which means its one headache off his back. so good for him.

leon's also getting abit down lately. he was pondering aimlessly in front of lichun's computer the whole night. poor chap. i saw shaen taking some things back from his room just yesterday. really wanted to talk to her, but i guess i couldn't bring myself to. haiz. maybe if leon opened himself up a little more to us we might be able to help.

anyway i dowan to let all this stuff affect my fyp and schoolwork lah. darn. its quite xianz to think that i havent been doing much work for the past few days. but like i said. hopefully its been worth it.

Friday, March 19, 2004

A Useless Attempt On The Journey

it is a sad thing when i have to watch friends around me crumble. i do try my best to be of help to them, but certainly i would be unable to devote all my time trying to make them feel better about themselves and making sure they're okie. perhaps sometimes i even tinker in wonderment whether the people around me would do likewise if scenarios were switched the other way around. its not that we've lost faith and hope in them, nor is it that we want to stay away from the troughs of their lives while riding only the high and happy waves with them. real friends go through shite together. yet sometimes what we want to really see is our crumbling friends trying their best to stay strong in such adversity, trying to do damage control, and remain dignified in such hardship only to walk away with their heads held high. and with that we pour our hearts to aid and heal and walk them through the valley of the painful heart and back into the hills of social happiness...the last thing that we'd want is the endless moping and hopeless contemplation that things will remain forever bad and terrible, and consequently drag us into the mire of a relationship gone bad.

break-ups arn't uncommon and it always hurts to be on the receiving end of the dreaded dumpster. yet it is important to recognise that recovery efforts from friends often come hampered by the phases that is an individual's road to recovery. and the onus is on the poor sod to help pick himself up, and the friends will help too.

the common phases of this trecherous road always begins with denial. denial is a very painful process of not wanting to admit that things have ended. denial is to tell oneself that things are not unfolding the way they really are. denial is telling people that you can change. denial is failure to accept the truth.

the denial phase is soon followed by hope. hope used to be a positive term but in this very instance hope is unjust and untrue. hope that things will get better. hope that the past can be revisited. hope of being together again. and hope to know what really went wrong. unfortunately answers are few and far between and are constantly muddled in conjunction with the denial phase. life just is the pits.

over time, self-blame takes over. this stretches into one's heart to ask the very questions asked to everyone. what went wrong? it has got to be me. is there something wrong with me? there must be. else i wouldn't be where i am now right? and the search begins. the reminisence of since it all began till the horrible end. where did the rot begin? what exactly is wrong with me? it must've been something i did. and self answered questions go on and on...

this leads to anger. anger over oneself. anger over the other.

then the blame game takes over once more. but this time it focuses on the other. now things are his/her fault. i gave my best. i have no regrets. the danger of reaching this phase is the mutation of anger fueled by blame, into hatred and bitterness. 'nuff said.

but hopefully over time, acceptance will set in. to finally know that things happened and you survived. and have become stronger for it. you recognise that things just didn't work out. it wasn't his fault, it wasn't her fault, fate just never intended for things to be thats all. there is a serene sense calm and enlightenment, to accept that you have come a long way and lived to see the light at the end of the tunnel. and you cherish the good times you've had.

years on, this will be but another small chapter in the eventful life that you've led. you think back of the past and smile, and tell yourself the experience has come a long way towards helping you become the person that you now are.

i hope this uselessness in attempting to explore the journey of break-ups will help those who are in need. and with that i wish you all the best in your perseverance. please feel free to comment.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Draw

final game of our futsal tourney. no highlights. we drew 1-1 against hall 10. i felt like i was just going through the motions after a cheong session the previous night. john complains my tackles have zero bite and i dunt win my 50-50s. maybe i was a little tired. missed a glaring one-on-one again. got kicked in the ankle by a red shirt. i think its sprained. i think we were lucky not to lose. they hit our posts like 4 times while our goal came from a deflection. so technically i'm the top-scorer for the team for this tournement with 4 goals. yay. haha. our record, 1win, 1 draw, 4 losses. crap.

beth and mark are both going through crap. it's hard to be in their position. so i'll help if they need me. going to bathe then rub ankle liaoz.

One Fish Down

yay. i finally handed in my clean tech 15-page report. really ddin't what to write, but somehow manage dto churn 15 pages out. so its not too bad. can concentrate on fyp once again. still have my engineers and society presentation to think about though.

still feeling abit whoozy from last night. could've been the lack of sleep since i woke early this morning at 10am. and yet i feel a deep sense of relief around me. in fact i almost feel a wee bit happy for myself. now wait till i continue on my fyp...

Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are

-the scientist, coldplay

love this song. dedicated to hotbabe.

our nation builder's website headline right now: manhunt on for armed robbers on tekong. go take a read. parents must be worried shit. the bmt and sispec recruits must be worried shit. police must be worried shit. gahmen must be worried shit. robbers must be kicking themselves in the nuts that of all the possible islands they could've escaped to they come to the only one which is equipped with thousands of m-16s and assorted rifles and weapons, several granade live-throwing ranges and LAW live-firing areas. no shit. i really am waiting with bated breath for what's gonna happen next. $10 says a firefight will ensue between military personnel and robbers, robbers killed/captured/surrender/cry, parents of recruits complain about safety of island, metal fence erected in northern part of island to appease parents, environmentalists complain fence is destroying the natural habitat of wildlife there...

haha.

A Friend In Need

i dunno what to say really. i feel as though i'm just blogging for the sake of blogging.

last night was mambo wednesday at zouk.we drank tons. and i mean tons (i had 3 flamers and 1 sex on the beach). and yet i was okie. Mark got really pissed out, so i was with him outside most of the time. i made a cameo at the dancefloor for like what, 3 songs? it wasn't so bad until i realised i didn't have a lighter with me, my handphone died, AND i forgot to exchange BOTH my drink coupons. dog shite. but oh well, what's all that to help a friend in need eh? he's pretty okie this morning, i hope the good cry and perpetual vomitting did him some good. sometimes it takes a really good alcoholic piss-off just to unearth all the bad thoughts in a man and cleanse him of his ugly thoughts. hope last night helped.

the night before we had a steamboat outside lichun's room. quite alot of us. but once again the numbers always wittle when the food's about to finish and we gotta start cleaning up. wasn't exactly filling or anything but wasa nice little gathering especially for the old lot (that's me chun lian and leon...erm yup thats it.) i remember we used to do this like early last year too when the girls first had their single rooms. mulian's talking about a graduation trip. so we were thinking of doing hte road trip we did back last year (where chun fiona me and leon rented a car and drove to malacca and then drove the coast to port dickson then sepang then KLAA then cyberjaya putrajaya then kl then batu caves. adventures, thrills, shocks and basically fun you name it we lived it...and all captured in a videocam which we cannot find the tape!) but this time we go east like desaru mersing and kuantan instead. sounds awfully fun and can look forward to, but its just an idea lah. i'll update if things get concrete.

still slogging with fyp and shite. xianz. everyone's like done with their fyp but me man. haiz.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

My Friend The Misery

below is a terribly long rant so i really wouldn't reccommend anyone to read it.

i feel like crap. i can't explain why, but yeah, i feel as though i fell in some really deep puddle of dog shite and couldn't swim out, and there're no vines to grab onto to save myself...and i'm slowly drowning drowning drowning. was feeling like that since last night but i thought a night's sleep would've helped forget my troubles.

guess i was wrong.

i think this fyp's killing me man. if there ever were a reason for me to go silly and go into a depression, this would probably be it. it feels almost like a relationship i'm having with this hot babe who's giving me mixed emotions. one minute she's really nice to me and cooee and hugs and kisses and all and the next she tells me we really can't work out, and shuns me like the plague. how am i supposed to think straight? dog shite. i feel lost. i wish i had more direction doing this all alone. and yet deep inside i know this hot babe and i, we can't work out, she's right you know, and she was the one who first mentioned so. things really won't work out this way, not for now at least. this style might've worked out for anyone else, but no-sireee-bob not her. its wrong for me to treat her like that. maybe she just thinks she's but a toy to me. she must have noticed my dumb flaws for all that she's known me. maybe i should've been nice and showed more interest in her from the start. i did. i really was genuinely interested some time ago. i even wrote it down in my interim report. and last night i was reading it over and over again and the memories of what i've done came flooding in. i now wish i had worked harder and made more progress then. it wasn't my fault that i didn't do much to improve our relationship. back then she had someone else to care for her and take up all her attention while all i could do was look on and just be that fly on the wall trying not to be in the picture, or be there when (and only if) she needed me. alot of times i just looked on jealously as that other guy bothered about her and i'd be seeing how lousy he treats her and yet she'd still lap it all in and then i'd vow to treat her better when my turn came and hope she'd behave the same unto me. when i finally took over, she was a wreck. i dunno, maybe she was venting her frustations on me, maybe she was still rebounding, but what-the-hey i had to get her back on her feet somehow, i guess i cared too much for my own good. it all happened so suddenly like a flash, then again maybe we rushed into things too fast, whatever we did we tried not to let it bother us, and yet deep down we knew it was wrong wrong wrong. the previous guy really didn't do a good job with her and now here i found myself trying to pick up those pieces for her and help her through. so she'd be cold hot cold hot cold hot...yet in the back of my mind i dun think she's really let go of him yet, afterall he did meld her into what she's become, and thats why she treats me this way. sometimes hot, sometimes cold, so nonchalent and bo chup one moment, then so receptive to my initiations the next. alot of what i've written in the interim are good shit mind you, in fact i'll use most of it in my final report (do i have a choice?). maybe if i had signalled my intentions that i was really interested in her and tried to wrestle her and confuse her to make her choose between the both of us, maybe things might have been different. maybe i really should've spent more time with her when i had the chance.

no time for regrets now. what's done cannot be undone. i can't turn back the clock. all i can do is to keep on slogging away like a horse, and hope that things might one day turn out better than i'd expect. i haven't seen the hot babe for two whole days having been spending time in my room and com lab working on my report. i know things might be weird between us and for days to come maybe even awkward. i dunno, i'm just like that i guess, some reclusive freak. but hopefully she won't give up on me, because i definitely can't give up on her. i know she still likes me alot, maybe even alot alot alot in fact. i can see it from her normal behaviour, eric the labtech can see it, yuan chuan the masters student can see it, i just hope the fire in us both can continue to burn brightly. and then maybe someday, one day, things will all work out just fine and we both will be able to make amends to each other and share our love...

in fact the song "time of my life" by macy gray is a reflection of my current sentiments for you, hot babe. go take a listen.

cheers.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Dreadful Display

we lost. 3-1 to some crap team. we should've won, but we lost. dog shite.

we played like crap and STILL should've won, but we lost. main culprits were myself and zhikun. geez i played so badly i think i would've missed a whole barn if i were kicking a ball 5m from it. i missed at least 5 glaring good chances, 2 one-on-one chances, hit the post once, AND almost scored a dumb own goal by kicking a ball into my face. THAT's how bad i was. zhikun also missed a host of chances, but at least he got himself on the scoring sheet.

i played so badly i didn't even have the heart to shout much today. the whole team sucked in general, with only john's commendable defending to show for. we were all really out of sorts lah. all i did was glare at people this time instead of shouting at them, which technically is a lousier thing to do than shouting since it shows i don't care anymore. each lousy play i'd let out a pretty loud 'tsk!' and that was it. what a piss face i was. hope none of them take it to heart, i know its quite demoralising when a senoir does so. i dunno how the freshmen are gonna do without us next year man, their play was sometimes so horrendous as a team that i would rather go watch some ballet performance. ack! duno how the twins even made it into the team man. haha. okie shan't be mean.

anyway like i said the other team sucked so bad that we could've beaten them if we took at least two or three more of our million chances. we were dominating them and could've done so further but we let them into the game and our lousy defending once again gave away a few easy goals. normally we'd conceded quite alot of goals but we'd make up for it by scoring a few to lower the deficit or, like last week's game, actually win. argh. xianz. kie lah we have to move on anyway. final game's on thursday against hall 10. we're gonna get slaughtered if we play like today.

should've just gone for malay instead. wonder how i did for my quiz.

A Relaxing Day

argh. man u just got thrashed 4-1 by man city. xianz. this season's really a bad one for us fans. out of the champs league, third in the league behind chelsea and arsenal, only winnable trophy would be a fa cup, but gotta get past arsenal in the semis first. i suppose whoever wins that semi-final game will go on to win the fa cup anyway since the other semi final tie is between sunderland and either tranmere or millwall (millwall? i mean alistair edwards once played for them lor! sunderland will make the finals for sure.)

it's been a relaxing day for me. really not looking forward to another hell week starting tommorrow...

spent a good 2hrs just reading the morning papers (its a must-do when i wake at home), then had lunch with val in siglap, nice of her to drive me to and from home even though i could've walked there myself. went to place some small bets in sgpools for the first time in more than two months of which i've already lost $5 cuz of the above result. dog shite.

went to the gym with chuen. had a full upper body workout, i think i won't be able to move my arms tommorrow but that would just make me happy. i'm currently at 67.5kg, can't believe i've lost almost 5kg since late last year. must be my attachment made me fat while my fyp's killing me. looks like i gotta build up more muscle than beer belly. even my sis says i drink too much just from reading my blogs. i realise i'm only able to benchpress 50 pounds and shoulderlift 120 pounds (and needed bro's help for it). not very strong at all. my bro benchpresses 70 pounds and shoulder lifts 170. must remind myself never to offend him. we then ordered pizza back for dinner instead of going out since parent trap was showing on tv. i love that show!! the olsen twins are like bloody cute lor!!

i took the train back to ntu alone. i haven't done so for quite awhile but i always enjoy taking the train back alone. it gives me ample 'alone' time to reflect and think about alot of things thats been going on around me. i spent the first half of my journey finally finishing up big fish *hooray* (so the ending was almost the same afterall) and the other half thinking about alot of stuff.

thinking is depressing sometimes. thats why its always better to be constantly busy with work when you're depressed because you wouldn't have to let your depressive thoughts wonder and spiral further downwards. i dunno what i'm saying liaoz.

anyway i deliberately took the 179 bus instead of the 199 one just to find out which got me back to my room faster. according to my hp clock, i took exactly 14 minutes from jp interchange to the canteen 2 busstop and another 5 minutes to walk back to my room from there. will try to remember to time a 199 trip next time out.

a relaxing day for me. hell tommorrow.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Yet Another Blog

this blog's written for the sake of those in my daily-updating-for-new-entries fanclub who've been asking why i haven't been blogging much of late. it ain't easy but i'm forcing myself to write this. i didn't realise my blogs had such a huge following (head swelling, but okie its not exactly grand canyon huge lah), but it adds to the pressure of delivering readable and regular blogs. was lamenting to mark that its harder to be very personal on this blog anymore (as compared to my earlier entries), so i think it was a good thing that i still maintained my normal written diary. anyways i'm pretty sure there's enough tidbits and juicy rubbush in here to hopefully fan interest.

so yesterday i didn't blog since the morning because i've been slogging on my fyp (yet again!), like i've been doing the past week. its a terrible and torturous routine of cutting and pasting data, drawing graphs and basically staring at the computer screen for hours on end. my butt hurts from sitting on my cushioned chair for so long, my eyes are really tired and saggy, and the thought of having to keep doing all this amongst the culmination of my other assignment deadlines just makes me feel like crap. i only left for home around 1030pm at night after i had completed a good part of the readings i had set out to analyse. in fact the ride home was a very soothing one that had a really sayang-ing effect, so much so that i fell into deep slumber immediately upon touching my bed. i think i feel a depression coming (not that i've really been in one). need help here.

there's also the highlight of yesterday which turned out to be my dinner at extension with mark. yes, just me and ol'markie boy. we ate at the newly expanded kopitiam which was infested with city-harvest young punks (we're talking 13-19yrs old demographic) and we actually had to share a crummy table with yet another lonely church-goer who was alone. i had my regularly hainanese chicken rice (i almost always eat only the chicken rice or the duck rice there) while mark had teochew sliced fish porridge. then we each had a waffle from prima deli (they taste better than those sold in the other bakery nearer 7-e because they cook them waffles for you on the spot). afterthat i bought a packet of catfish and zebrafish (as food for my bitch) and some fish flakes and then we returned to school. how excitingly eventful.

i hear the east is getting flooded (to those affected maybe can tell me more?) from the monsoon rain that's been hitting singapore the last coupla days. each time it pours, places like tanjong katong upper east coast and paya lebar flood to record levels. for the first time in my life i saw on the news the huge canal criss-crossing the paya lebar mrt station filled almost to the brim, which to me is amazing because most times its either dried up sans the little drain in the middle or barely flowing at ankle depth. i mean its not even possible to throw a fishing line in since the waters are perpetually shallow. but on thursday i saw with my own eyes the one time the canal really saved the city plaza and mrt area from flooding. wow.

i've decided prior to coming back yesterday that i'd take a whole day's break today (it is the day of rest afterall) so perhaps i'll just blog a tad more if i'm free later. else i'd probably be sleeping my lazy afternoon away. my parents are up in malaysia visiting the aunts and uncles (amidst the election campaigns - go BN! win the hearts and minds of the chinese!), coming back on tuesday i think, so i think i'll drag fen and chuen out for a good dinner tonight. whee.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Tired Morning

hmm. it's yet another day of non-blogging yesterday. was busy wrestling with fyp the whole of yesterday in the fluids mechanics lab. xianz. hopefully i'll be able to churn out a proper presentation of results by monday so that i can continue with the rest of my experiments. also have to start on my fyp report man. and my clean tech report. and my ens presentation. double xianz.

we went cheonging again last night. this time to newsroom bar. quite alot of hall people went. there was *deep breath* me chun lian guoxin mark beth xiaowei zhihong ah aow john hongwei tsen yeow ben tan eddie. and then after the whole thing ended we went outside and bumped into pearly danny and xiaobin.

i wouldn't say last night was the best of cheonging sessions largely because i was really tired. wherever i was the whole night i had the tendency to drift in and out of my existing state of mind. found myself stoning alot. and i didn't even bothered to dance much (only around the end i suppose). we shared two bottles of chivas regal which got most of us all sufficiently high. i think the rest of them had quite alot of fun.

most of everyone were dancing then drinking dancing then drinking while i mainly hung around looking after the drinks with whoever who took turns hanging around me (thankfully i wasn't left alone most of the time). i was smoking like a chimney though. darn. gotta stop that liaoz. the alcohol's not so bad but the fags give me a sore throat every morning after. shite.

so the whole night i was hanging around the couches playing cai quan with different people, occasionally going to the toilet or popping by the dancefloor for a brief cameo. later on lichun and i went to 7-11 to get some fresh air and go atm to get money, then on the way back we were checking out other clubs. apparently beth and guoxin also went to 7e but we didn't see them. mark wasn't so happy that beth went without telling him or something lidat though i thought mark was sleeping really soundly on the couch when i left. anyway the ride on the taxi with the both of them felt a tad weird (i don't like the awkwardness of strained silence, but maybe i was just tired) anyway i (not surprisingly) fell in and out of sleep throughout our journey back so it wasn't too bad.

will be spending the rest of today doing my dreaded fyp again. it's such a strain to have my fyp drag on for so long but it sure looks like its gonna drag on till the end of the month. so don't expect me to be blogging as much as i used to.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Sweet Victory

gosh i'm still addicted to the billy joel song...

anyway, we won! finally after four matches into the ntu-organized futsal tournement (read john's take of it cuz i'm too lazy to recall - the bend it like john entries), we won our first match. and against the team at the top of the table (hall 2) somemore!

i've always said we play much better when we don't substitute players in and out so much. and sadly, no offence to some of those in the team, but they really can't cut it lah, once they come into the game i'd get demoralised. anyway without erm, some of them being substituted in today, we actually held out really well against a top-ranked team.

we started with paul as 'keeper, john and sundar as defenders and myself and zhikun as strikers, which, in my opinion is probably the best line-up anyway. i learnt that ben kuah has quit the team liaoz so that explains zhikun's inclusion in our side.

the game started like most other games when hall 2 scored first because of a fumble by paul. i dunno why he always makes wrong decisions at the wrong time and i feel damn bad for always shouting so angrily at him when we play, but deep inside i know he's really been a great keeper for us this whole tournement.

the inclusion of zhikun in the team really did wonders even though he was still quite green to the team. his eager first time tonjo of an equaliser was a rocket that could have ripped the net and i was damn relieved we equalised (like we could start from level again). i think that was quite decisive because it lifted our spirits ( for a moment i thought we were gonna be in for a thrashing).

the second goal was courtesy of yours trully, a simple kick-back after zhikun (again!) tested their keeper with another rocket. it's all about being at the right place at the right time.

the third goal was a brilliant exhibition of the kind of chemistry that john and i really have (i wish the whole team was lidat), he took the ball down the court, got double teamed and gave it to me and i dribbled down and knew he would be running down the flank and thats where i left it from an acute angle on the left side. kudos to him for latching on to my pass so well and scoring from the acute angle.

half-time 3-1 we were up.

the second half they came back really strongly and tested paul quite a few times (told you he was good). they scored the second goal (i think it was the ex-ivp eddie who scored) from the left corner at a really acute angle, so acute we all thought we shot into the side netting and even the referee wasn't sure if it were a goal (but he gave it after consulting the largely hall 2 crowd).

it is interesting to know that by this time a bunch of supporters had gathered around the blocks surrounding the hall 2 futsal court (it was their homeground indeed) and were screaming for their players to jiayou and crap. but i think that motivated us all the more.

our fourth goal was once again by me, this time our pressing paid off and they fumbled on a backpass which no one wanted to run for and i latched on really quickly. the goalkeeper was out of the zone to take me on but i managed to shoot a cheeky shot through his legs. haha. poor sod. the goal came out of nowhere but it proved to be the decider.

they came on to us really strongly and had quite alot of good attempts wasted by poor finishing (i thought we were damn lucky), and even managed to scored a last-gasp goal due to a defensive mix-up. in the end we held on still and managed to keep them away from goal. a win thats really sweet indeed! final score: 4-3 to us.

i'm aching all over now though. think i must be getting really unfit.

Mambo Jumbo Funbo!

okie so in the end we really did go to mambo, zouk.

and in the end it was only me leon hongwei and guoxin. but what fun!

there's something about going in a small group of all males. there's alot of freedom to let yourself go and not worry about the people you're with and there weren't any girls with us to look after even *double yippee*.

so it all began around 1015 when hongwei finally came back from dunno where and we chop-chop dressed up and flagged a cab to meet leon who was there like super duper early. it was already funny in the beginning because the moment we hopped into that cab, the uncle accepted a booking from somewhere else (dun ask me why but i think it was his itchy fingers), so he told us he had no choice but to chase us out (else he'd get suspended or something). but conscience obviously ate into him, and he decided to call his friend to pick us up instead. so alrightey, we said, but since his friend didn't know how to get to hall 8, the nice uncle actually drove us to the entrance of ntu (at no extra charge of course) just to meet up with his friend. needless to say uncle was a nice malay (but i won't get into that). so we dropped off at the entrance of jalan bahar and hopped into another cab...and to zouk we went.

i've always had the impression that mambo was eternally packed on wednesdays, but yesterday wasn't the case. there was no queue by the time we reached at 11pm. cover was $20, so we entered phuture. met huimin there with her friends. the dancefloor wasn't even crowded when we entered, so we just hung around the bar waiting for the dancefloor to fill, the music wasn't even very good right up to that point. and that's when we decided we oughta whack ourselves silly with something good.

first we each ordered an e-33 cider each (there as a promo that only required one coupon instead of the usual two for a bottle), then we went down to the bar nearest the dancefloor. note that after our first bottle, guoxin starts complaining that his tummy felt bloated (him and i had a beer each while waiting for hongwei in hall). by this time the music was getting good (could've been the cider) and we were drifting towards the dancefloor liaoz. then suddenly, out of impulse, someone (naturally it could only have been yours trully) decided that since it was 1-for-1, we should each down a couple of flaming lambourghinis!

the male ego is a very fragile but huge one, one that can easily be swayed by sheer machoismo and peer taunting. throw in the fact that we were pumped up for alcohol, and you'd get everyone just trying to verbally outdo the other in regards to just how much each of us can manage.

back to the flaming... so we marched to the bar and ordered our lambourghinis. one each first. $11.50 a pop (normal $23). cheap shit. everyone downs their cuppa pretty simply, till guoxin takes it. he chokes. no go. didn't finish, hongwei finishes it for him. poor sod. so guoxin's out of the picture. he's quite gone and you can see from his face that he's already up there at the higher level waiting for the rest of us.

the frail ego is easily overcomed and we decide a second one would be a piece of cake, i mean honestly i was still feeling quite alright. so leon and i take a double. finished. still good. for a moment i thought i wasted my money not able to feel high after two flamers, but the burning sensation told me the hammer would knock soon. hongwei could'nt find a partner to share a double, so leon takes it with him. 3rd for leon. downs it with ease. wow.

okie so no more drinks liao. we hit the dancefloor and the music's like really flowing this time with 'ymca' and 'summer rain' to welcome us back to the dancefloor. the shit starts to kick in once we're there. i mean REALLY kick in. i saw it in guoxin earlier (he's still gone), then i could see it in hongwei too, and leon's looking all weird, and i found myself spinning quite alot. argh. so for the next 2 hours, we partied like animals (just how do animals party anyway?) and thanks to the brilliant music, we didn't take any breaks (my surprisingly old body could take it). and so that summed up our night session.

by 0245 we stumbled out and realised we left a man behind (who else but guoxin) and went back to look for him (i just leaned by a railing while the others did actually). we got a cab and went back to school. the cab driver was another really nice chap (this time he was an apnn), offered us plastic bags(though we never got to use them) and spent the whole trip us stories of horror passengers who puked in cabs and the three of us (minus guoxin who was sleeping) constantly went 'ooh' and 'eeeew' and all that just to whet his appetite for telling us more.

upon reaching hall guoxin rolled out and puked (thank goodness not in horror-story uncle's cab) and then we all helped him back to his room. leon was surprisingly okie even after the earlier 3 shots. i was high but okie. hongwei was erm. kinda gone. could'nt walk straight at all. anyway he came over to have supper (which nice mr zix helped us buy since he was outside) while we watched soccer. you could tell he was really quite gone when he says he's alright but there he is lying outside my room saying he's gonna sleep there. haha.

well so all in all last night was a pretty good session.

i think i'll go wash up now...

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

We Didn't Start The Fire

just got addictted to this song big time man...

Billy Joel
We Didn't Start the Fire

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray,
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe Dimaggio,

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television,
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe,

Rosenbergs, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom,
Brando, The King and I and The Catcher in the Rye

Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new Queen,
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana good-bye .

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist bloc,

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Tosconini, Dacron,
Dien Bien Phu falls, Rock Around the Clock,

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team,
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland,

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev,
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez.

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac,
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge on the River Kwai,

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball,
Starkweather homicide, Children of Thalidomide,

Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia,
Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no go,

U-2, Syngman Rhee, Payola, and Kennedy,
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo.

Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land,
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs Invasion,

Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania,
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson,

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex,
JFK blown away, What else do I have to say?

Birth control, Ho Chi-Minh, Richard Nixon back again,
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate,Punk Rock,

Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airlines
Ayatollahs in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan,

Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, Heavy metal, Suicide,
Foreign debts, Homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz,

Hypodermics on the shore, China's Under Martial Law,
Rock and Roller Cola Wars, I can't take it any more!

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning,
Since the world's been turning.
We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
It will still burn on and on and on and on.....

click here to find out about each of the things mentioned
click here to see a flash video of the song with pix!

Tak Boleh Tahan!

just back from malay ca test. gonna buang this one bad man sheesh our dear encik aziz was xiao onz enough to make sure everyone seats at least one seat apart. and there goes my chances of copying from lichun, though i'm not sure if that would've helped much, bleahz.

going to zouk tonight most probably...gonna throw my ultra tired mass into the merciless dancefloor!

Another Busy Morning

hey ho, i'm up blogging early today again. i think my biological clock has set itself to the 10am timeslot liao so that i can even wake without my handphone alarm. got lots of fyp work to do, then i'll haveta stop at around 3pm so i can study my malay. hopefully the test won't be too difficult.

having abit of a tummyache this morning though i have no idea what i could've eaten wrong. or maybe its cuz i haven't eaten at all. i've been to the toilet once liao. it's irritating when you can't shit in your favourite cubicle cuz the toilet's being washed, so havta walk a little more to the other fourth level toilet to shit.

the other toilet is much nicer actually, having been renovated a few months ago. the tiles are really clean, the floor's not slippery and even the protective plastic on its metallic flush hasn't been ripped out yet. but still i'd rather shit in my old toilet. last cubicle. the squatting throne. its hard to explain, but perhaps thats where my comfort zone for toilets is.

i've also added the candy girl's blog (yay, you blog too!) and mark's scrabble saga just for everyone's convenience. no point in me always directing people who dunno mark to his site. john's also started his darts saga. haha. i guess everyone's got a story to tell don't they? maybe i ought to write about something too?

i've been so busy with my fyp this week that i haven't had time to do the daily chores in my room.the room's in quite a mess, the floor's starting to feel dirty again, the clothes haven't been washed for awhile and i've been neglecting my fish tank abit.

the bitch is getting really huge, 6"?. i can't find a catfish or prawn anymore(they must be hidiing really really well) since i bought a packet of both just last week. the new plants i bought are quite nice but one of them is growing so fast that several stalks have grown out of my tank already. will probably trim them when i have the time. the other plant seems to be merry and pippin's (my two french snails) favourite veg. they hang around it all day and chew on it. in fact if you look closely enough you can see the trail of chewy they left on the stems. tsk tsk. i can't find crabby, haven't seen him since last friday, might be hiding somewhere (hope the bitch hasn't gotten to him yet).

i miss squishie.

oh well time to slog again...

Caught!

argh. i never thought it would happen but it did. mark and i were caught using the src pool just now. haha. its funny cuz the security guard actually climbed over the locked gates the exactly way we did just to sneak up on us. he was so sneaky neither of us heard him. i had just gotten into the pool and swam a lap while mark was still taking off his clothes. tough luck. the mat-yo-yo of a security guard though was nice enough to let us off the hook (they're always this nice when you start speaking ot them mat-rocker style). si-beh xiao-onz.

still struggling withthe fyp data analysis...

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Tired Tired

at the cad/cam lab again. had brunch with mark at canteen a just now, i'm getting sick from having had to eat there so often, but the chicken katsu was good today.

was so tired last night i fell asleep before i had wanted to. ended up missing the supper i asked guoxin to buy for me (sorry beth!). the good thing is i learnt that shengyong ate up beth's duck noodles and my mee pok. paid guoxin anyway for his trouble, was feeling kinda bad making him buy then never eat.

malay test tommorrow. will only begin to study tom afternoon. hopefully thats enough time and hopefully that gorgeous chio bu who sits beside me during lesson will actually have studied and will write in larger fonts during the test.

the whole period since i came back from dinner yesterday i spent touching up on my experimental data. its a bitchy tedious process of data manipulation and filtration. so disgustingly taxing. i think my eyesight's failing me from all that staring into the computer screen. they feel real heavy and soggy and coupled with the little sleep i'm unacustomed to, i'm developing eye bags for one of the rare times in my life (god i'm ugly!). i also have to squint quite alot these days, i don't think my myopia's gotten worse, but the astic ('sat how its spelt?) is definitely worsening, as if it ain't bad enough. these days even with my glasses on the lights in the night glare in larger glowrings than before. waiting to start hallucinating...

oh well hopefully things'll improve come friday when we go cheong (meeting this week's quota), this time we've planned to go newsroom bar. gotta remember to drink less alcohol, i still have a six-pack in my fridge. i don't feel awfully stressed, but there's alot of work to do and its gotta be done somehow so i find myself overly busy with things i'd rather not do, and neglecting the things that i want to concentrate on. but hey, i wouldn't be living life if things were all that perfect init?

back to the fluids mechanics lab...

Monday, March 08, 2004

It's A Rainy Day

goodness can't remember how many times i almost slipped and fell since i came to school in the morning. i think i ought to change my slippers soon before the frictionless base kills me.

its my hrm tutorial now but since foo chek teck is so bloody longwinded and full of self-praise (i thought i was bad), i decided to blog an entry before i go for it.

spent almost the whole damn day holed up in the fluids mechanics lab slogging through the rest of my fyp experiments. i 've managed to complete the rotational sets for the 1 degree in and out rotational plates so i'm left with 4 more plates to go. but in order to complete so much today i didn't do data analysis for the results i got since i figured i can bring it back to my room computer to do tonight. okie i've decided also to ditch the name xiao ding dang for my dumb machine. i don't wanna call it anything lah. argh. as long as she treats me well for the next few days, whatever she wants me to call her i'll call...usually it's just a simple "oi!".

i actually went for a prescribed lecture just now of which i managed to keep awake by first, writing an entry into my journal, and then trying to finish up what's left of big fish (i'm at hte part where he buys the town of specter!). the clean tech pe lectures are so boring and dead that half the class is usually asleep by the half-hour mark. xianz. could've been doing my fyp instead if not for the attendance-taking.

okie i'm off to hrm tutorial now and then malay class afterthat. hopefully i won't slip and kill myself on the way.

The Busiest Week

hmm, i'm up quite early today, preparing to face what might be the busiest week of this semester.

my fyp 1st draft is supposed to be due next tuesday (though my sup only needs the first few chapters first) but i've still got the rest of my experiments to do as well and i haven't even begun typing my report (hopefully today's the day) . got a malay ca test on wednesday which i ought to start stuying for as well, not sure if i can rely on lichun for answers. got a clean tech project due next week as well, though i don't even know what i'm supposed to do with the project, but i've already missed a quiz once so if i cock this one up i might end up failing this pe (time to study)

its time to really start doing something academically constructive.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

ChinaBlack Part Deux

i can't believe i ended up in chinablack for the 2nd night in three days. this time it was jinde who wanted to go, so i brought him there. we had intended to go watch soccer but apparently the candy girl asked him to go there to chill so i accomodated...before that he had to go back to my place to change into my bro's jeans since he was wearing shorts.

it's free entry on saturday nights and drinks are at $3 a glass and $10 a jug. dirt cheap. the crowd was abit too young for my liking (very army) and music was hip-hop/r&b (which i'm not really into). so we had a jug of vodka 7-up and a mug of tiger each and stood at a table by the side of the dancefloor almost the entire time. we were there watching the young things go by. and since we're both attached there wasn't much interest in picking any nubiles (there weren't that many anyway), so gyrating to the music was the order of the day...it's jinde's first time to the club and i think he enjoyed tonight quite abit.

we left the club around 1+ and adjorned to simpang bedok for supper with the candy girl. nice of her to meet up with us so late. i was really hungry and actually managed a whole chicken pita kebab and two otahs while jinde just had a roti john (which he didn't even finish). we talked quite alot, among which i still couldn't help insulting her boyfriend (as always) and can't believe that she not only said i'm gonna end up marrying late (hmph), and that i'm a lousier boyfriend than she's a lousy girlfriend (the cheek!)! we left around 0345 lidat, walked her back before taking the taxi back in opposite directions. abit late i must say. but eventful nonetheless since i managed to catch up with two good buds in one single night (killed two birds with one stone).

dunno how the hell i'm gonna wake up tomorrow though.

Saturday, March 06, 2004

Eastern Sea Breeze

it feels great to be back home after such a long time (didn't go home last weekend). there's nothing like the serenity and calmness of the marine parade - siglap area. this is the perfect place to bring up the children and grow old.

anyway i just got dragged to parkway by val to eat ya kun kaya toast just now. it's the first time i've tried it. it's awfully expensive at $3.50 for 4 slices of bread, 1/2 boiled eggs and tea. val likes it alot. i think the breads too crispy for my liking while the tea tastes weird. the eggs are big (bigger than kopitiam fare)and tasty though. each time i come back to the east i feel like i haven't missed much of a beat in the weekend bustle (maybe that's cuz i've been coming back ONLY on weekends for 6 years now). things here are still so familiar friendly and calm.

the funny thing about the east is that the course of time has hardly changed the environment and culture of this place. sure there're renovations and construction occasionally but essentially these changes hardly affect the impression of the place i've spent my childhood in. alot of old buildings and schools and other facilities still pepper the entire katong-marine parade-siglap-east coast area as though a fond reminder of all that i grew up with. maybe we're lucky this place was helmed by our brudder ct goh so upgrades and renovations are always so competent and efficient. but still, i sure as hell wouldn't trade this place for any other in singapore.

that said, perhaps we each have our preferences as to where we'd rather live in (which tends to be where we grew up in due to familiarity). the other day a very close friend revealed that she's never even heard of parkway parade before. i was shocked and not to mention appalled. how on earth can a singaporean not know this place?!! (got people so damn bloody suah koo wan meh?). then she pointed out that i didn't know the new 40-storey hdbs were in toa payoh, her hometown, so now we're even (no fair!).

also, today i did something really constructive at home. my room's toilet bowl flushing system broke down a few days ago, so my brother and i spent the better part of the afternoon repairing the flush mechanism. it felt great to help out (finally, after so long) and it was also great brother-bonding time with my bro. he's grown so big now sometimes i have to pause awhile just to see how big he's grown (i mean he's bigger and heavier than me!). and now he's taking muay-thai (kickboxing) lessons during his free time away from the army (i'm so dead if i ever tried anything funny on him), go bro!

okie all this eastern rambling is kinda making me hungry for reasons i know not why...

One Day Gone

wow. i can't believe i actually got by one whole day without blogging. i remembered the closest i got to blogging yesterday was after slogging for fyp i went over to the cad/cam lab but the moment i logged in the staff said the lab was closing liao. so there.

chinablack that night turned out to be quite an interesting night actually (okie so i was wrong). the night didn't look good when we got there though, there were so few people in the club that we kept making snide sarcastic jokes about having had to queue for hours just to squeeze into the club. i mean it was so bad the whole club only had one couch area filled (that was by mulian john mark and beth) when i went in. but as the night wore on and the drinks started flowing, we got high enough to neglect the emptiness of the place and dwelled in our own confines playing cai quan (guess numbers), and the place slowly but surely filled up. i think everyone had a bit too much to drink that night so it ended with a snippet of shows to watch.

a crap load of people were quite pissed out. maxine was crying alot (wonder why). wee teck was crying alot (wonder why). everyone was really high since drinks came to a near free-flow toward the end. everyone was puking left right and centre. i do remember fbt kevin in particular, protesting that he wasn't drunk, even though there was a one-inch string of drool dangling on the left corner of his mouth and i had to help him wiped it off while agreeing that he wasn't drunk. hmm. i thought it was really fun somehow...maybe in my usual warped sense, there was an egoistic feeling of empowerment whenever everyone around me was high or drunk while i was sober, so maybe that was it. felt quite bad about brudder john since he didn't have his 42 brudders with him but he did look quite high as he drank quite alot too.

its hard to get into specifics about alot of what went on that night and i'm abit too lazy to narrate everything that i saw. but in all i thought it was a night where peoples' inner-consciousness were peeled out by the ravaging effects of alcohol and whether elaborate or subtle, their actions displayed alot of the manifestations of what really was on the back of their minds. it is true that alcohol has a way of exposing the only truth that the hardened and layered shell of a man's heart will never reveal.

enough of chinablack.

john has started his own blogsite! it's quite funny when you read john's blogs while pretending as though he were narrating what he wrote to your ears. maybe it was just me but i was laughing in front of the computer while reading his blogs and my mom thought i was a nut! anyway, i like his xiao-wan-zi and i got a bitch of my own too. and its really funny to describe it when you give it a female name. so from now on, i will call mine xiao-ding-dang (i can't think of anything liao).

it's a bloody lazy saturday today and i spent a solid hour reading the papers just now. wonder what's in store for the rest of today...

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Haiz...

haiz...

i just got kicked out of my cheong taxi group haha. so now i'm stuck here until guoxin gets back so that i can take the cab together with him and zix. which means that i can't join the rest for dinner in town, which also means that i gotta have dinner alone since guoxin went out for dinner. xianz. but oh well, i've asked him to get me fried rice so i'll probably be eating first before i go down.

i got a feeling the bash isn't gonna be too fun cuz alot of people arn't going, but oh well lets hope i'm wrong. meanwhile the slowcoach of a reader me is trying to finish up big fish! haha

On A Lighter Note...

i decide to start a brand new blog just so the mood of the previous blog wouldn't affect what i'm writing now. i was actually quite happy before i wrote that blog, so maybe i'll share abit of that cheer.

my fyp has turned in another fabulous breakthrough! yay! now i can REALLY do my experiments proper. both my sups (one's the in-charge who's damn bloody bo-chup while the other is the thermal division head who's super xiao-onz) came down to check on the overall set-up of my experiment and how i conduct it, citing that i could've made mistakes in the procedures hence causing the results to fluctuate so much. BUT NOOOOOO....they could find none! *yippee* then the more passive and definitely more good-looking sup highlighted that my results should reflect the trendlines of these fluctutations and when we added that, wah-lah! an instant straight line! hooray! so they concluded that i will continue my experiments as such and present the trendlines of the data i get. hip hip hooray!! can start doing my experiment properly liaoz! so happeeeeee...me so happeee, like the birds in the trees, the flutter of the bees, makes me go wheeeee.......haha. okie, that's silly.

okie okie it's back to the lab to work. time is of the essence.

To The Dearly Departed

i came across this letter to the nation builder press today...

Fatal drink-driving case sends the wrong message

I AM appalled at the light sentence - four months' jail - First Sergeant Koe Seng Wah received for killing a cyclist while driving under the influence of alcohol ('Soldier knocked down cyclist after drinking binge'; ST, Feb 27).

In another article on the same day ('Cop gets a year's jail for oral sex with wife's sister'), it was reported that a man was jailed for a year - three times longer than Koe - for oral sex.

Another jail sentence for oral sex was halved recently, from two years to one year.

In comparing the two crimes and the sentences meted out for them, I cannot help but feel that the judicial system is sending a message to the public that it is much less reprehensible to drink and drive and in the process endanger and even kill fellow road-users than to engage in a sexual practice which hurts only the morals of others but does no (or much less) actual harm.

In my opinion, the light sentence Sgt Koe received is a slap in the face of all cyclists, pedestrians and other road-users and undermines efforts to stamp out drink driving and to make the roads safer.

One can only hope that the prosecution will appeal against the sentence and that other motorists do not think that drink driving is a petty transgression which one get away with lightly, even if something happens.

MATHIAS KORBER

while i don't plan be dragged into the comparison between the crimes and the sentences meted out, this is just a timely reminder to those from ntu and anyone else who knew alvin (i never did, but felt saddened that a life was lost so easily) from the ntu cycling club. this was the accident that happened outside jalan bahar a few months ago. alvin was the last of the safety cyclists from a contingent of cycling club members on the way back from a round-island trip. the impact from the collision flung his body into the busstop before the turn into ntu. i felt a deep sense of sadness when leon first told me about him before it got published in the papers, even though i didn't know the guy. heard he was staying in our hall though.

life is but a fragile string of thread that could snapped or be cut any moment, do treasure what we have and those around us.

Drink Drink Drink

just woken up. i think this blogging thing has still gotten me hooked. i blog an average of 3.4 times a day (thats 27 blogs in 8 days) while everyone blogs at most 1-2 blogs a day man haha. but as joe said, its MY blog and I can do whatever I feel like. who cares what anyone else says.

last night we had an early drinking session in my room. there was joe mark john and keeheng. we mostly talked about fyp and stared at my bright fish tank under the yellow glow of my ikea spotlight. afterthat joe mark and myself went to src for a swim yet again.

its a bad idea to swim when you've had a couple of beers. swimming a single lap feels like running up 30 floors. i don't think i ever panted so much so quickly before. when i go drift around the pool with my face above the water and my ears submerged, i can hear my heartbeat loud and fast like tribal drums. and the water feels alot warmer (without peeing) too.

i think i've been drinking too much lately. on average i cheong or drink at least one or twice a week and the alcohol intake is substantial (unlike mark who drinks 10% of a can of beer and leaves the rest to turn warm) enough for me to get high (i'm not an awfully good drinker so that's not saying much). i hope this habit won't affect my liver so i gotta try to exercise regularly (that's where the swimming comes in). i miss those soccer-in-the-commhall days. these days the only time i exercise are the swims i have at src. oh and i did 4 pull-ups on my own!!! a 100% improvement on my previous trial! and with joe's help i managed 8!!! (that's banking on the money liaoz!) hope to improve to 10 over the next 2 weeks.

will keep this blog posted of my progress.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

In Loving Memory Of Squishie

argh i came back to my room to find out that my prized winner of survivor:bozo's fish tank, squishie has been eaten by the dreaded bitch!! haiz xianz. squishie's a bright orange swordtail that's been in my tank since day 1 and he went through every change in the tank from absolute nothing to the paradise it is today. poor fella, haiz. also eaten is my last surviving africa fish (i didn't really like it anyway). so now what's left are 2 prawns, 6 tiger-barbs, my crabby, mr no-name-yet leopard sucker, my two french snails merry and pippin ( should've named them pires and henry or something since they're french) and bitch. bitch is bad man, eat so plenty things. it took only 3 days to clean up my tank of catfish that i bought for it, darn. the tank still looks swell though, cos its got lotsa plants (and more to come!) and it looks like a cool pond.

oh-oh, trouble. heigui's computer has been locked by cits for some sharing violation which he's apparently not guilty of. whoever's reading this better take down your shared folders soon!! he's supposed to write a letter of explanation which cits will then evaluate. maybe should ask jinyi to pull strings or something, eh joe? haha...

Still In School...

it's evening and i'm still stuck in the library doing research. xianz.

met my supervisor just now. he's just back from his 2-days mc (they're human too!) and he still isn't too pleased with the results my dumb machine is producing. argh. but he's starting to soften a little since he knows my time is almost up *choke* so he'll make abit of leeway but he honestly told me what would be best to be done so that the moderator would query less. i do want to get good results both for him and my own grades, but somehow the dumb machine can't seem to produce them. xianz. well he also told me i'd definitely pass *mini-yippee* since he's be impressed by my (haha!) work ethic. so that rules out getting an A, E or F grade for my fyp. bleahz.

also bumped into wenxiang just now when i went to have teabreak alone (lonely me). he's from my clan during the hall 8 foc when we were in year one, not awfully close but still good for a tea-talk. he too was having his teabreak in solitude. was nice of him to allow me to have tea with him and we chatted about how we were and what we were up to. it was nice talking to him after so long.

there's a funny similarity in the lives of final-year students and some years ago i probably would never have imagined i'd be drifting in such a scenario. we're all super-duper free, yet struggling with our final-year projects, trying to appreciate whatever time we have left in our universities and trying not to worry about what the future holds when we leave to become an unemployment statistic. haiz. it gets worrisome just beginning to think about it, so i shan't...

okie its back to work!

Everyday's An Adventure

funny that i'd use this title but since i just mentioned it to beth i decided its a nice one to use. i feel really listless today as though there's nothing much to look forward to for the rest of the day. i'll try my best to camp out in the school for as long as i am humanly capable (argh)...hopefully another adventure will just come by...(maybe i could be kidnapped to russia!)

watched the american film 'kids' by gus van sant last night. its nothing more than a profile of the decadent lifestyles of streetkids off american streets. quite realistic acting though (then again acting high on drugs and having a good time all through the show isn't too hard) and the cast doesn't feature any recognisable names. an eye-opener to the daily lives of the less fortunate streetkids in the US of A, a rotting disease. hope i don't end up with kids like these if i go for campusa. recommended for home viewing.

steven and jackson are in the cad/cam lab beside me right now. i took a seat one seat away from them (so they can't read what i'm writing, haha). steven came over just now to complain that amy (hello! fluffy here!) laughed at him after reading the way i described his godzilla-stunt (see just keep swimming blog), when we went swimming awhile ago. so i came clean and showed that blog to him. no harm in that...until he read that his growl was 'pussy-like' hahahahaha. pretty funny.

okie it's time to slog on with my fyp/hrm/ens/cleantech assignments/project/work now. update again later! who knows what the later part of the day will bring!

Ants In Our Pants

just back from our illegal swim at the src pool with joe and mark. spent quite a long time there swimming laps and relaxing. at some point it felt real good to drift about face up while my ears were submerged underwater, and as long as i kept moving, i easily kept afloat. i felt real relaxed doing so, clearing my mind of all complicated or worrisome matter. i think i'm getting the hang of all things therapeutical these days. anything that helps me relax, i like.

i was wondering where we'd get posted to for campusa. preferably somewhere further up north then it'd be easier skipping over to canada while i'm there.

as we were wearing our clothes to leave we found out the hard way that the bench placed our clothes was infested with biting ants! haha, so there was a scramble to jump back into the pool, before coming back out to beat those crawlies outta our clothes. quite a funny sight.

joe's slipper broke on the way back and he had to walk back barefooted too. cool.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Ramble Rumble

geez, i'm still stuck in the mpe cad/cam lab looking for material for my engineers and society biomedical technology presentation. just spoke to angela on icq. that poor girl's going through pure hell with her thesis and all in the uni, what with missed deadlines and lack of time and all that. she sounds really terrible i felt quite helpless for all i could do was read whatever she typed. i hope she remains strong and tryta pull through of all this. afterall, time's gotta funny way of ironing out the obstacles that we face throughout life. things will surely turn out fine. which reminds me of my own fyp. i don't really know how to describe its current status, but as anyone can tell i'm not really bothered by it at the moment. mentally given up on it? i sure hope not.

waiting for malay class at 530. i missed yesterday's class because i had to go down to aceglobal. hopefully he doesn't pick on me today. hope he comes late, cos all my notes with chun who took it to copy what she missed last wednesday.

Another Night Another Day

woke up at 10 this morning hoping to do some work in my room. but as always my room's cluttered with distractions (i felt compelled to fold my clothes), so i decided to shift my fat butt to the mpe com lab where the environment's alot more conducive. i shall try to keep this entry short so that people will complain less (but its MY journal?!)

anyway yesterday evening joe mark and i went down to aceglobal (shared a cab with beth) to hand in our application forms. each of us was missing a form here and there but the bulk of the important bits were finally completed and handed in. while the oral interview was a really simple one, the audio 2 minute self-intro made me pretty nervous (i dunno why i act lidat all the time) and it seemed like a really long time even though i had prepared my intro and was just reading from a piece of paper. haiz. jeeper-creepers. aside from that there wasn't much to note except that that pretty young thing gythrie ramalingam (i swear she looks authentically chinese) graduated last year from business, ntu, so she didn't seem so scary after we realised that we were but from the same cohort of 2000.

joe left us to catch big fish (mr alphamale thought it sucked) with the 42 peeps right after the aceglobal appointment, so that left mark and myself, the dynamic duo, to have dinner together. we wanted to watch the movie gladiatress (it just might be the next kung pow!) but we missed the latest 530 screening slot, so we ended up having dinner at subway, shaw tower. now to be honest while i have eaten in subway before (though seldom), i have to admit that i thoroughly enjoyed the meal i had with mark (surprise!). i had a super-duper filling foot-long italian b.m.t. (whoever knows what it stands for please comment) meal that cost me close to $10 but i thought it beat some steamboat thingy markie boy (roll-eyes) was recommending. we talked alot over the hour-long meal and it made me realise two things about him (i'm sure he's gonna comment on this if he reads it. statistically, the chances that he'll deny it are close to 99.9%).

1. he really talks as though the ants were whispering.
2. his sense of hearing is as acute as that of an elephant...with both its ears chopped off and its eardrums grinded into salami.

'nuff said.

still, it was somewhat fun, then we walked all the way to cityhall and upon reaching we made perhaps the lousiest ever decision a pair of men could've made. beth and val are gonna kill us for this but its too interesting for me not to blog it. we actually decided that we would each try to find a small little something for our girlfriends. that was dumb alright (he said it was gonna be sweet - he didn't say it was gonna kill us doing so). so stupidly, we combed places like card's n such giftland (his ideas) mph tots robinsons (my ideas). the ending? empty handed. if it wasn't my indecisiveness to find the right little something, it was his innate talent to select little somethings that screamed 'i collect dust really well!' so there. empty handed. lesson learnt? never attempt to shop for little somethings with another attached man. the other moral of the story (just for the girls), is to never underestimate a man's stupidity in thier quest to pleasing their significant other. sure we came up empty-handed, but if this wasn't blogged, no one but us two pathetic losers would've realised that it's the thought that counts would it? and that's what mattered.

okie now that i've got THAT off my chest, i'll go bury myself in work till i get bored again.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Old Friends

i bumped into an old pal just now while having lunch alone in the canteen. we had met when we were in year 1 and were quite good pals for awhile until we drifted apart once in different schools during year 2. its a funny thing that we still had it in us to hit it off quite well, so much so that she ended up talking more to me than her chinaman of a lunch companion (not surprisingly, since she's thai though that could've been her boyfriend, i'll never know), poor chap. i decided to do the right thing by not hogging her attention too long lest the chinaboy floored me with a shanghai chop, and left the moment i finished my food. it still left me with a good feeling knowing that i've got good friends whom i've drifted apart from peppering all over the place. as usual we said the cliched 'keep in contact, we'll meet up someday' shit that never happens. but it set me wondering about some of my other good pals i've been neglecting over the past few weeks...gosh this is gonna degenerate into a academy award mention list...

i know for one that my bestest male buddy goh chin teck had to email me just a week ago because he finally accepted that sms-ing and icq-ing me would only yield a reply hours later (that's because i'm not around) by which time he wasn't free. i learnt that he's now helping his dad in the cooperate gift business after he quit ntuc income. his dad's business isn't a bad career path i feel, and there's massive potential if he sets his mind to making it big. still it was a slight knock on my head to remind me what a lousy friend i have been all these years. haiz. kudos to him for the perseverence. still with (my replacement) crystal.

then there's old bud esther, who's currently working for a private firm dealing with bioscience education for lower-tier academia. she's drawing a decent salary and her work keeps her busy enough not to keep in regular contact with me as well. in fact the last time we metwas during the class gathering some two months back. still no boyfriend yet. hey why never call me liao?

there's also the candy-girl. she's busy with her fyp and lovin' it (just like moi!) and the only time i hear from her these days are her periodic whines about how rotten her life is what with fyp et al, and yet i get ignored before i can even begin to find out what's happened...well at least it'll be either that or i forget to reply her totally (always catch me when i'm busy and vice versa!). and how many times have we both agreed that it was high time we met up again? haven't seen her since mid-last year. still with boyfriend for a decently long time liao.

the old zuguang is another i haven't gone out with for a bloody long time. a midnight teabreak back in siglap seems too long overdue. but he's found replacements in bro hak, ah guan and gang. and he's stuck to cycling the life outta him eversince that knee op stopped him from his fav soccer. think i'll call him next weekend, high time i caught up with the old zook. single and available ultra negligent alpha-male (and i thought i was bad).

which reminds me that my dear butler on the other hand, is the one neglecting me. that guy never replies my smses on time AND never ever (well almost) meets up with us or me anymore. shoot. i just got your sms that you've changed your number bro, thank god you still have the heart to tell me that. found a young thing in mindef i heard?

of course there's sharon, the rather-be-sia girl-than-kpmg accountant who keeps me entertained with her whining and complaining (i'm not complaining!) and yes, those sia girl stories of yours are really good. boyfriend's still in ntu.

my dear army buds anthony (given up on me liaoz), gan (almost given up) and darrell (in philly), i am so damn sorry for the years of neglect. will make it up to you guys some day. and darrell if i go for campusa i'll surely come meet you!!! better start making a list of the strip clubs you're supposed to bring me to!!

the class of tpjc 96s08, i know we just met up two months ago so its not so bad. thank goodness. hopefully daniel (our beloved class rep) keeps up with the organizing of gatherings.

the class of dhs 4m, yeah thank goodness we also met up before sulynn flew to russia (wonder how's she doing there). amelia's changed a truckload and stacey's back from UK, hopefully we'll meet up again soon.

the class of dhs 2b, wah lan i dunno what the hell happened to all of us man. maybe someday there might be a reunion (which i'll not miss this time!) and we can all dissect why we haven't been as close as before.

the class of 6a brps, it's incredible even to this day friends listen in awe when i tell them we still meet up at least once annually. and its even more incredible that when we do meet up, its like more than half the class present! haha. special mention is my dear boon tat who's followed me from brps to dhs to tpjc to army to ntu. sheesh like will you get off my back already? haha. also to jinglong (tubby) for making it all happen.

to anyone i might've forgotten to mention, erm. keep in contact, friends forever, and erm, keep in contact, we'll meet up someday!