Being A Better Manager 1

🔍 1. Stay Calm and Avoid a Defensive Reaction

• Don’t let emotion drive your response. It’s natural to feel undermined or frustrated, but maintaining composure preserves your credibility.

• Remind yourself that perception (even if skewed) is powerful in workplace dynamics — and must be addressed, not ignored.

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🧭 2. Understand the Full Context

• Speak privately with your manager (the one who received the complaint). Seek:

• The exact words or themes raised

• Their impression of the situation

• Any impact on their view of you or your team

You need clarity on the narrative being formed.

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🗣 3. Set Up a 1:1 With the Employee

Approach this as a coaching conversation, not a disciplinary one. The goals are:

• Understand their perception

• Address the bypassing of hierarchy

• Reaffirm expectations

Suggested talking points:

• “I understand you had concerns you brought up recently. I want to hear your perspective directly so I can fully understand.”

• “I do want to acknowledge that bypassing our team structure can make resolution harder — in future, I’d appreciate if we can first try to work it out together.”

• “Can you help me understand what’s made you feel this way?”

Let her speak without interruption — note any distortions or exaggerations, but don’t challenge them immediately. People want to feel heard before they can hear you.

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⚖️ 4. Present Your Perspective Calmly

Once you’ve listened:

• Clarify facts calmly, using specifics and tone that avoids sounding accusatory.

• Share your intentions (e.g., “My decisions were aimed at fairness, not favoritism, though I understand they may not have landed that way.”)

• Reframe the narrative toward team improvement and professional growth.

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📘 5. Set Boundaries and Expectations

Explain clearly:

• You welcome feedback, but expect it to be raised directly and professionally.

• Skipping the chain of command undermines team trust and accountability.

• Future issues should follow a transparent escalation path (you → your manager, if unresolved).

This isn’t about reprimanding — it’s about clarifying how professional communication works in your team culture.

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🧩 6. Document the Conversation

Write a short, factual summary:

• The issue raised

• Your response

• Any action items agreed upon

Keep this for your own records — if patterns repeat, you’ll have a timeline and evidence.

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👁 7. Monitor Behavior and Team Dynamics

Watch for:

• Signs of gossip, division, or repeat escalations

• The employee trying to manipulate others’ perceptions

• The employee responding positively to your intervention

If necessary, involve HR for coaching or mediation support.

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🧠 Optional: Coach Your Manager

If your manager was swayed by the dramatized version, you might need a calm follow-up:

• “I just wanted to close the loop on that situation. I appreciate you flagging it — I had a direct conversation with her to clarify things.”

• Share your measured handling, which reinforces your leadership credibility and transparency.

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✅ Summary

Goal Action

Maintain authority Address skipping levels firmly but professionally

Ensure fairness Hear the complaint fully and without judgment

Protect reputation Clarify facts to both the manager and the staff

Reinforce culture Set expectations for communication and trust

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