Heat

 Wah the weather lately, has been ridiculously hot and humid.

I think the nights are choking up to 36°C!

This is causing me problems because I don’t have much chances to sleep in aircon :(

Being A Better Manager 4

 If your staff member delivers results but has a consistently bad attitude, you’re dealing with a classic performance management challenge: high output paired with low emotional intelligence or poor behavior. Left unaddressed, this can poison team morale and undermine your leadership.

Here’s how to handle it strategically and fairly:

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✅ Key Principle: Attitude is Performance

Even if her outputs are good, behavior, teamwork, and professionalism are core components of performance. It’s valid to address them—even essential.

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1. Define What “Bad Attitude” Means in Clear, Observable Terms

Avoid labeling it as just a “bad attitude.” That feels personal and subjective.

Instead, translate it into specific behaviors, such as:

• Frequent eye-rolling or sarcasm in meetings.

• Dismissing others’ ideas or dominating discussions.

• Withdrawing from collaboration.

• Speaking to colleagues disrespectfully.

• Undermining your leadership through passive resistance.

➡️ This makes the feedback objective and harder to dispute.

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2. Tie Behavior to Team Culture and Impact

Frame the conversation around team norms, values, and the ripple effect:

“I appreciate that your work gets done on time and at a high level. That said, how we work together matters just as much. I’ve noticed behaviors that are affecting team morale and collaboration—like [example]. When that happens, it makes others hesitant to speak up or creates tension that hurts team effectiveness.”

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3. Separate the Person from the Behavior

This helps reduce defensiveness:

“I’m not questioning your competence or results. This is about how we show up as part of a team, and how that affects others.”

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4. Clarify Expectations Around Behavior

Make clear that professional conduct is non-negotiable:

“Part of performance in this team includes respectful collaboration, openness to others’ input, and maintaining a positive tone—even under pressure.”

If your company has a values statement or code of conduct, refer to it.

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5. Offer Support But Set Boundaries

You can say:

“If there’s something behind your frustration or stress, I’m happy to hear it and support you. But the current tone is not sustainable, and it needs to change.”

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6. Document and Track Progress

If behavior doesn’t improve:

• Start documenting incidents (dates, behavior, impact).

• Consider informal coaching first, then move to a formal warning or performance plan focused on behavior.

• Involve HR if needed to avoid legal or reputational risks.

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🧩 Optional Strategy: Use Peer Feedback (Carefully)

If appropriate in your culture, 360 feedback can help the staff member see that the issue isn’t just your opinion.

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🔥 Bonus: Reframe the “Toxic High Performer” Paradigm

Remind yourself—and her, if necessary—that results alone don’t excuse toxic behavior.

“I want you to keep succeeding here—but not at the cost of the team. We value high standards, and that includes how we treat one another.”

Being A Better Manager 3

This is a common yet difficult leadership challenge—managing someone who is unaware of (or in denial about) their underperformance and reacts defensively to feedback. Here’s how you can approach this constructively and professionally:

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1. Document Specific, Objective Issues

Before any conversation:

• Write down specific examples of underperformance. Avoid vague terms like “bad attitude” or “not proactive”—be precise (e.g., “Missed 3 deadlines in April,” “Submitted incomplete report on X project,” etc.).

• Tie the issues to impact: How did her performance affect the team, clients, or project outcomes?

This helps shift the focus from opinions to facts and makes your case more difficult to dispute.

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2. Set Up a Private, Intentional Conversation

Request a one-on-one and frame it around development:

“I’d like to check in on your recent work and talk through how we can align better going forward.”

This tone is less threatening and more collaborative.

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3. Deliver Feedback Calmly and Specifically

Use the SBI model (Situation – Behavior – Impact):

• Situation: “In last week’s client meeting…”

• Behavior: “You dismissed the client’s concern without acknowledging it.”

• Impact: “That hurt trust and made it harder to move the project forward.”

Focus on actions and impact—not her personality or intentions.

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4. Expect and Manage Defensiveness

Defensiveness is often a defense mechanism for feeling unsafe, misunderstood, or unappreciated. When it happens:

• Stay calm and neutral.

• Reflect what you’re seeing:

“I sense you’re feeling frustrated or attacked—that’s not my intention. My goal is to help you succeed here.”

If she continues deflecting or pushing back:

• Refocus on shared goals:

“We both want you to succeed and feel proud of your work. This feedback is about getting there.”

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5. Make Expectations Crystal Clear

If performance isn’t improving:

• Set clear, measurable expectations (e.g., “Submit reports by Friday noon with no missing sections”).

• Put it in writing and agree on a timeframe for improvement (e.g., 30 or 60 days).

• Let her know there will be follow-ups.

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6. Create a Feedback Habit (Not Just a Crisis Conversation)

Build regular check-ins where you give and ask for feedback. This normalizes performance conversations and reduces anxiety when they happen.

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7. Involve HR or Your Manager if Needed

If she continues to deny issues or shows no improvement, escalate constructively:

• Ensure your documentation is solid.

• Frame your goal as supporting her success and protecting the team’s standards.

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Sample Script (Start of the Conversation)

“Thanks for taking the time today. I wanted to have an open, supportive conversation about some challenges I’ve been noticing in your recent performance. My goal is to be transparent so we can work together on areas that need improvement—because I believe in your potential and want to help you succeed. Would it be okay if I shared some specific observations?”

Being A Better Manager 2

 This situation involves three critical dynamics:

1. A direct report skipping your authority

2. Allegations of favoritism and bias

3. Interpersonal conflict between team members

The key is to regain control of the narrative while maintaining fairness, professionalism, and leadership credibility. Here’s how to navigate it:

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🔧 Step-by-Step Approach

1. Check Yourself First (Privately)

Before reacting, reflect:

• Is there any action or perception — even unintentional — that could be misinterpreted?

• Have you given more visibility, support, or praise to the other staff in ways this person might resent?

Even if the perception is false, understanding how it formed helps you correct the narrative — not just defend against it.

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2. Align with Your Manager (Privately)

Have a calm, proactive conversation with your manager:

“I understand [Employee] has raised concerns. I’d like to clarify the facts from my side and share how I plan to handle this. My intent is to uphold fairness and resolve the tension maturely.”

• Lay out the facts: how you’ve treated each staff member, performance metrics if relevant, and any team dynamics contributing to the conflict.

• Show you’re taking this seriously and not dismissing it as “drama.”

This builds credibility and shows leadership maturity.

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3. Hold a 1:1 with the Employee

Use this meeting to:

• Listen first — allow her to express what she sees as unfair.

• Probe: Ask specific examples of the alleged favoritism.

• Clarify: Calmly explain decisions or interactions she’s misunderstood.

• Reset boundaries: Make it clear that skipping hierarchy should only happen for serious, unresolved issues — not perception-based frustrations.

Sample framing:

“I heard you raised some concerns — and I’d rather we handle things directly. I’m open to feedback, but I want to ensure it’s based on facts and handled constructively.”

“Can you help me understand where you feel there’s been favoritism?”

Then:

“Here’s what I’ve observed and why I’ve made those decisions…”

“I treat everyone based on their contributions and professional behavior — if that’s not how it feels to you, let’s talk about how to rebuild that trust.”

Important: Stay calm, don’t defend aggressively, and don’t counter-accuse. Focus on expectations and moving forward.

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4. Address the Peer Conflict (if necessary)

If her issues stem partly from not getting along with the other staff member:

• Do not mediate personal conflict unless it impacts work.

• Make it clear that professionalism is required regardless of personal chemistry.

“You don’t need to like each other — but mutual respect and teamwork are non-negotiable. If the conflict spills into work or morale, I will step in more formally.”

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5. Document and Monitor

• Keep a record of the complaints, your response, and your manager’s alignment.

• Track ongoing behavior — if she continues to stir division or act out, begin formal coaching or HR involvement.

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🧭 Framing the Leadership Message

This isn’t just about dealing with one person — it’s about setting the tone for your team.

“I don’t play favorites — I do reward performance, reliability, and positive attitude. If that looks like favoritism, I welcome the conversation, but we’re all here to be held to the same standards.”

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✅ Summary

Action Purpose

Reflect honestly on actions Disarm defensiveness and understand the perception

Speak with your manager Regain control of the narrative and align expectations

1:1 with the employee Clear the air, reaffirm boundaries and professionalism

Monitor future behavior Prevent recurrence and protect team dynamics

Enforce standards, not personalities Keep focus on