Wednesday, June 26, 2013

My Weirdest Acupuncture Experience Yet

So I needed to see a Chinese physician to fix my knee.

My regular guy isn't open, so he was nice enough to refer to another physician just down the street.

I got there abit too early so he was still closed. But sitting outside was some weirdo who claimed he'd help me queue up. He then asked me for $2 for breakfast. No big deal, I thought, and gave him some money.

Physician finally opened. Some lady was ahead of me because weirdo queuer was off buying food I thought. 

Anyway when it was my turn I went into the physician's room. That's how things got weird. He spent a chunk of time trying to sell me the following ideas (I kid you not):

- his acupuncture skills were given by God
- he is the best (and he means it) nose acupuncturist (Sinusitis) in the world 
- he cannot tell this to the world because the Singapore government would then 'fix him'
- Lee Kuan Yew is greater than God (he was dead serious)
- its the reason why he hasn't died yet
- this is proven by the fact that LKY is a recipient of the GCMG (go Google it)
- he claims GCMG stands for God Calls Me God
- he makes all his successful patients take a picture holding a board with the words 笨医生医好的, which he stores in his computer
- he is in the midst of creating a FaceBook page describing his accolades and success stories because the mainstream media won't cover him
- that's because if the government gets wind of him, they would once again 'fix him'

After all that brainwashing, he proceeds to ask me if I could help him cancel his Diners credit cards for him, because my English is more powerful. I, of course, help him.

Then he asked about the effectiveness of Giro. And wanted my to cancel his Giro order with DBS. I was ok helping him but he subsequently changed his mind as I was dialing halfway.

For my help, he gave me a discount (I don't really know what he would have charged otherwise but the first lady paid $250), and charged me 'only' $20. Which was my normal rate at my regular physician.

That was first and last time I will see him I guess.

Oh! And my knee! All he did was rub an old bruise on my kneecap with his green koyok throughout the consultation.

As I walked to the MRT station, I saw that weirdo drinking a can of Anchor beer.

No comments:

Post a Comment