Being A Better Manager 2

 This situation involves three critical dynamics:

1. A direct report skipping your authority

2. Allegations of favoritism and bias

3. Interpersonal conflict between team members

The key is to regain control of the narrative while maintaining fairness, professionalism, and leadership credibility. Here’s how to navigate it:

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🔧 Step-by-Step Approach

1. Check Yourself First (Privately)

Before reacting, reflect:

• Is there any action or perception — even unintentional — that could be misinterpreted?

• Have you given more visibility, support, or praise to the other staff in ways this person might resent?

Even if the perception is false, understanding how it formed helps you correct the narrative — not just defend against it.

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2. Align with Your Manager (Privately)

Have a calm, proactive conversation with your manager:

“I understand [Employee] has raised concerns. I’d like to clarify the facts from my side and share how I plan to handle this. My intent is to uphold fairness and resolve the tension maturely.”

• Lay out the facts: how you’ve treated each staff member, performance metrics if relevant, and any team dynamics contributing to the conflict.

• Show you’re taking this seriously and not dismissing it as “drama.”

This builds credibility and shows leadership maturity.

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3. Hold a 1:1 with the Employee

Use this meeting to:

• Listen first — allow her to express what she sees as unfair.

• Probe: Ask specific examples of the alleged favoritism.

• Clarify: Calmly explain decisions or interactions she’s misunderstood.

• Reset boundaries: Make it clear that skipping hierarchy should only happen for serious, unresolved issues — not perception-based frustrations.

Sample framing:

“I heard you raised some concerns — and I’d rather we handle things directly. I’m open to feedback, but I want to ensure it’s based on facts and handled constructively.”

“Can you help me understand where you feel there’s been favoritism?”

Then:

“Here’s what I’ve observed and why I’ve made those decisions…”

“I treat everyone based on their contributions and professional behavior — if that’s not how it feels to you, let’s talk about how to rebuild that trust.”

Important: Stay calm, don’t defend aggressively, and don’t counter-accuse. Focus on expectations and moving forward.

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4. Address the Peer Conflict (if necessary)

If her issues stem partly from not getting along with the other staff member:

• Do not mediate personal conflict unless it impacts work.

• Make it clear that professionalism is required regardless of personal chemistry.

“You don’t need to like each other — but mutual respect and teamwork are non-negotiable. If the conflict spills into work or morale, I will step in more formally.”

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5. Document and Monitor

• Keep a record of the complaints, your response, and your manager’s alignment.

• Track ongoing behavior — if she continues to stir division or act out, begin formal coaching or HR involvement.

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🧭 Framing the Leadership Message

This isn’t just about dealing with one person — it’s about setting the tone for your team.

“I don’t play favorites — I do reward performance, reliability, and positive attitude. If that looks like favoritism, I welcome the conversation, but we’re all here to be held to the same standards.”

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✅ Summary

Action Purpose

Reflect honestly on actions Disarm defensiveness and understand the perception

Speak with your manager Regain control of the narrative and align expectations

1:1 with the employee Clear the air, reaffirm boundaries and professionalism

Monitor future behavior Prevent recurrence and protect team dynamics

Enforce standards, not personalities Keep focus on