Worst Showflat Agent Ever

We were at The Trumps showflat in Kembangan yesterday. Really nice place, but the showflat agent was terrible! Somehow we weren't really pissed with his gaffs, but were laughing at him most of the time more like.

For starters his breath smelled as though he had eaten skunk. Wah lao go eat a mint for goodness sakes lah, macham like he rinsed his mouth in shit just before we came into the showflat lidat. So throughout the ordeal we both tried not to get too close to him.

The buffoon proceeded to blurt out loud, upon me writing 'Siglap Road' on the signing-in book,

"Wah you live in Siglap ah? That's where the rich people stay!".

Roll eyes.

Good Showflat Agent Rule #482: NEVER IRRITATE POTENTIAL CLIENTS AS ABOVE.

We just kept quiet and wandered away from him towards the condo model as fast as we could.

Then he started his introduction of the condo with damn lousy English(more on that). Plus he said that the condo "had the FULL range of facilities" and then proceeded to inform us that FULL means swimming pool, children's playground, bbq pit and indoor gym. Wow. What an array to justify the high maintenance fees of $250/mth.

He then mouthed off the biggest boo-boo of our meeting, while introducing the full range of facilities, he accidentally said swimming 'pee' instead of 'pool'. Geez, wonder if he was trying to irritate us. The dear and I almost burst out laughing. I dunno about her but I had to look down, bite my tongue and think lousy thoughts just to prevent myself from bursting out in laughter. Damn funny.

We took a lift up to see some of the showrooms thereafter, and didn't really bother him enough for him to make more of a fool of himself, but a couple of times I'd ask him something and then he'd reply something totally unrelated. So random. Like when I asked if it gets noisy around the area, he quickly replied "1430 sq feet!". Like damn proud that he know the answer lidat.

WTF.

Shortly after when we were about to leave the first showroom, we stumbled upon his 2nd biggest boo-boo. As I left the flat to put on my slippers, there I found exactly on top of my slippers were his freakin' leather shoes! Win liao lor. BOTH SHOES on BOTH SLIPPERS. Win liao. Maybe he was poking fun at us. I think he got embarrassed and quickly kicked his shoes off my slippers. And there on my slippers were his leather shoe dusty shoemarks, which I suppose would only come about if he had STEPPED ON THE SLIPPERS TO REMOVE HIS SHOES! Argh.

Finally, his last boo-boo occured in the 2nd showroom. I think he ran out of things to say liaoz, so to make conversation he said that just to inform us that IF we were under 18, our parents had to come down to purchase the unit.

!@#$#@^%@%&$&$^*&^$*&^

Argh.

Like think he must have thought we were shotgun newlyweds or something. I shot him an insulted look, then he said like no offence but you guys really look really young blah blah blah, need your parents' consent blah blah blah. That idiot couldn't even believe that I was 27. Sheesh. Like wah lao, then we bochup him and carried on with exploring the flat in our own happy little world. Haha.

At least we went back to the office to get a quotation of the units from him, and still had to tahan his shit breath for a good 10 minutes before we could leave. Geez, that poor sod must've thought we were serious buyers.

But still somehow he looked like he wasn't the malicious sort and more like the clumsy clown type, so I guess we didn't really fault him or felt really insulted. In fact I think we were just dying to go back to the car to have a good laugh about him. Geez, this guy must've lost alot of customers with his antics man.

The Trumps is a nice condo in Kembangan which I like!
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In another episode earlier, we visited One Amber at Tanjong Katong and pretended to be really interested buyers. Hell that place is damn expensive siah. Sell backside also may not be able to afford!