Home On The Range

haiz.

been staying at home for a tad longer than i should have. its one thing to make a brief cameo and try not to ruffle any feathers, but once the welcome's overstayed, the worms slowly crawl out of the can. every family's got issues and mine's no different. everyone in the family's got their own issues and everyone's got his or her problems and gripes and complains and so do i. i guess i gotta start getting used to the idea of being around alot more to help sort things out...

i suppose there has been a larger-than-expected degree of neglect on my part to have been kept in the dark about so many issues, afterall i've never stayed longer than a couple of days strung loosely together at home eversince i went into the army. that would be 6+ years and if you discountthe transition between moving back from hall and leaving for the land of the free, its actually 7 years. would i have made any difference if i had known of these issues earlier? would i have cared? how much of a difference would i have made anyway?

shan't air dirty linen.

haiz.

but i better start doing something before things get out of hand...

tomorrow's my engineers and society paper. should be able to pass it as long i don't miss it. went through it last night, looks pretty simple current affairs horse shit. afterall i've read the book: defending the lion city by tim huxley when in year two liaoz and thats where alot of the course material was taken from.

its gonna be super busy shit once exams are over. gotta prep for fyp presentation. i think i'll just go through the motions and get my pass can liaoz. gotta get our criminal records checked. gotta clear outta hall, most probably by the 20th may will be moving out. gotta train for ippt on the 20th at maju, aiming for extra $200 pocket money can liaoz. gotta organize the alumni bbq next week and the sentosa outing the following sunday. gotta meet up with brps'91 6a for our annual class gathering on the 17th. gotta buy a good haversack for the trip. gotta begin packing for campusa. gotta go for camp orientation at smu on the 15th. gotta mail back employment form to camp chief ouray. gotta settle whatever clearance and payments required before i leave ntu. gotta start planning for usa holiday since i've already been told that i won't have time to do so in camp!

wanna try to sell my bitch online. wanna cash out all my ers and nss. wanna pour it all into uob's japan growth fund, else ocbc's india opportunities fund. wanna take pix with everyone in hall with my digicam. wanna celebrate sis's birthday. wanna celebrate mother's day. most of all wanna spend more time with loved ones.

leaving on the 24th may night. countdown: 21 days.

camp chief ouray program coordinator, michelle, has sent some interesting things for me to read. here're some snippets:

WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT?(own thoughts in italics)
- to be exhausted -- and be beyond exhausted at times *can dig that*
- to find out how strong my sense of humour really is *this i gotta know*
- to be frustrated *definitely!*
- that the actual money i earn could NEVER adequately pay me for all that i do *somehow i think i went through this phase before*
- to work hard *how honest*
- to work VERY hard *how brutally honest*
- to laugh *phew at least they throw this in*
- to never have thought 9 weeks could go so slowly -- and yet so quickly at the same time *sounds exactly like what i'm feeling about my 4 years in hall!*
- to miss home -- and occasionally wonder why i came *good point*
- to hate the sound of my own name *how bad can 'chris' get? *
- to work very long hours *that's gonna be a pain*
- to never have the exact same view of myself, of others or on life again *ah...the answers to life*
- to have very little free time to myself *noooooo.....*
- to feel like quitting sometimes *shite happens*
- to love getting mail beyond my wildest dreams *a la survivor?*
- to make a huge difference to other people's lives -- and probably never get to see just how much of a difference i've made *sounds like community work*

"a child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started. he is going to sit where you are sitting and when you are gone, attend to those things which you think are important. you may adopt all the policies you please, but how they will be carried out depends on him. he will assume control of your cities, states and nations. he is going to move in and take over your churches, schools, universities and corporations. all your books are going to be judged or condemned by him. the fate of humanity is in his hands. so it might be well to pay him some attention."
- abraham lincoln

haiz. and yet for all its relevance to the camp i will be heading, this passage also teaches some of those who will read this in my blog a subtle lesson or two, and perhaps even myself.